This is the profile of a 19 year old gay male. The language in this profile is identical to the language I used at the same age. Of course, in 1993 I didn’t have the ability to broadcast my anti-gay thoughts to the entire city.
This language is completely homophobic. It does nothing but perpetuate the myths and stereotypes that the heterosexist, binary-gender obsessed world continue to perpetuate about homosexual males.
How can we expect anything else from our young queers? Like I’ve said elsewhere, unlike other minorities, us queers aren’t raised by our own kind. We are raised in heterosexual environments by heterosexuals. This makes it almost impossible for us to receive a queer-positive upbringing, one that understands the complexities of sex, gender, and sexuality. The end result is young adult men who are convinced they cannot be validated in this world as gay males without publicly invalidating and denigrating effeminacy. In doing so, they only continue to reinforce and reproduce the ignorance that connects gender expression with sexuality. They also manage to insult a sizeable proportion of the gay male world who happen to actually be effeminate. And of course we can’t forget that most gay males who chant the mantra “real men only no fems” are oblivious to their own effeminate performance of gender.
What’s even sadder than this 19 year old regurgitating the homophobia he’s been raised on, are the sheer numbers of older gay males who continue to say the same thing, well into their thirties, forties, and beyond. Again, why wouldn’t they? They’ve never had a queer education. They don’t get it at home as children. They don’t get it at school. And by the time they are adults they don’t even want it anyway, since they “know” everything they need to know about being queer, so they will say. But what’s so apparent nowadays is that being queer doesn’t mean one knows jack about what queer actually is.
I hope for more challenges to heteronormativity in the future, but I fear they will be too few and far between to have any sort of effective impact on the damage being done to queers as they grow up. I think we need to get into the schools to teach all children the differences between sex, gender and sexuality. But of course, the insane christians and other conservatives cry out in their shrill voices about how inappropriate it is to teach sexuality to children, all the while remaining ignorantly oblivious to the way they teach (hetero)sexuality to all children from birth. Until enough of us wake up to this and work out a way to change it, we will remain a minority within our own group, and continue to watch the rest of our gay brothers perpetuate hate onto themselves and onto the rest of us.