if youre in a heterosexual relationship like who gets to be the man and who gets to be the other man?


This is the profile of a 19 year old gay male. The language in this profile is identical to the language I used at the same age. Of course, in 1993 I didn’t have the ability to broadcast my anti-gay thoughts to the entire city.

This language is completely homophobic. It does nothing but perpetuate the myths and stereotypes that the heterosexist, binary-gender obsessed world continue to perpetuate about homosexual males.

How can we expect anything else from our young queers? Like I’ve said elsewhere, unlike other minorities, us queers aren’t raised by our own kind. We are raised in heterosexual environments by heterosexuals. This makes it almost impossible for us to receive a queer-positive upbringing, one that understands the complexities of sex, gender, and sexuality. The end result is young adult men who are convinced they cannot be validated in this world as gay males without publicly invalidating and denigrating effeminacy. In doing so, they only continue to reinforce and reproduce the ignorance that connects gender expression with sexuality. They also manage to insult a sizeable proportion of the gay male world who happen to actually be effeminate. And of course we can’t forget that most gay males who chant the mantra “real men only no fems” are oblivious to their own effeminate performance of gender.

What’s even sadder than this 19 year old regurgitating the homophobia he’s been raised on, are the sheer numbers of older gay males who continue to say the same thing, well into their thirties, forties, and beyond. Again, why wouldn’t they? They’ve never had a queer education. They don’t get it at home as children. They don’t get it at school. And by the time they are adults they don’t even want it anyway, since they “know” everything they need to know about being queer, so they will say. But what’s so apparent nowadays is that being queer doesn’t mean one knows jack about what queer actually is.

I hope for more challenges to heteronormativity in the future, but I fear they will be too few and far between to have any sort of effective impact on the damage being done to queers as they grow up. I think we need to get into the schools to teach all children the differences between sex, gender and sexuality. But of course, the insane christians and other conservatives cry out in their shrill voices about how inappropriate it is to teach sexuality to children, all the while remaining ignorantly oblivious to the way they teach (hetero)sexuality to all children from birth. Until enough of us wake up to this and work out a way to change it, we will remain a minority within our own group, and continue to watch the rest of our gay brothers perpetuate hate onto themselves and onto the rest of us.

(Source: dcaj28, via mrsaenz)


How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

No. How long is it appropriate to wait?

(via yourgfsgf)

(via iamianjacob)


Fuck yo tea.

What I wanna do when a table orders hot tea

(Source: thenamelesssblog, via bearded-john)

Pet Peeves: Men Who Are Uncomfortable With Their Sexuality

(Source: youknowyouwantsit, via ineedtothinkofatitle)

Oh awwww

(Source: szpiranskij, via supermanindisguise)

NBA to donate all proceeds from Jason Collins jersey sales to LGBT organizations


The NBA announced last week that 100% of the proceeds from Jason Collins jersey sales will benefit the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) and the Matthew Shepard Foundation. They’ve pledged that the donation amount will total at least $100,000.

The NBA will also auction off his signed jerseys to raise money for the same causes.

Since he signed with the Nets on Feb. 23 and was added to the roster, Collins’ jersey has been the top-seller at, the league said.

Collins wears No. 98 to honor the memory of Shepard, a college student who was killed in an anti-gay hate crime in 1998. Collins met with Shepard’s parents following Thursday’s game at Denver.

“I’m thrilled to work with the league to support two fantastic organizations, both of which work tirelessly to ensure LGBT youth get the resources and assistance they need to be successful in life,” Collins said in a statement.

This is the actual best thing. To buy yours — AKA make a large donation to these organizations and get a “free” jersey out of it — click here. (Full disclosure - I work at one of these organizations, but this would be totally cool even if I didn’t!)